"Athidi Devo Bhava"- Madras High Court Tells Wife To Treat Estranged Husband Like A Guest During Visitation
Expressing concern over the manner in which a visiting parent is often treated by the parent who is in custody of the child, the Madras High Court recently observed that every child has a right and need for an unthreatened and loving relationship with both the parents. The court was deciding upon an application filed by a father with respect to right to visit his child who was living with...
Expressing concern over the manner in which a visiting parent is often treated by the parent who is in custody of the child, the Madras High Court recently observed that every child has a right and need for an unthreatened and loving relationship with both the parents.
The court was deciding upon an application filed by a father with respect to right to visit his child who was living with the mother. He had contended that though he had visitation right on every alternate days between 6pm and 8pm, the mother was now planning to take the child to Delhi and settle there. The mother appeared and submitted that she had no such intention and in turn requested a modification to the earlier order to the effect that the father be given visitation rights on Friday and Saturday at the residence of the mother.
The court allowed the same and in the process went on to discuss in detail about the instances of ill-treatment and non-cooperation by one spouse towards the other who visits to see his/her child. The court opined that it is the children who are the ultimate sufferers undergoing emotional pain and mental trauma silently at the time of separation.
Justice Krishnan Ramasamy remarked as under:
Every child has a right to access both parents and get the love and affection of both parents. Whatever be the differences between the spouses, the child cannot be denied company of the other spouse.
The court also observed that some spouses after developing animosity towards the other spouse, used to engage in ill treating the visiting spouse. This in turn leads to quarrelling in front of the child who often gets disturbed. These feelings of vulnerability and insecurity can shape a child's personality and can even last a lifetime. The court equated such instances of parental alienation to child abuse and held that it had severe ill effects on the child like self hatred, lack of trust, depression etc.
A Parent who would teach a child to hate or fear the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child. Alienated children are no less damaged than other child victims of extreme conflict, however abusive that relationship may be. the court opined.
Thus, it was the duty of both the parents to behave friendly before their child so that the child feels secured and enjoys the moments in the company of both parents which develops positive feelings in him.
The court directed that even though the spouses may not consider each other as husband and wife due to personal indifference, they could still treat the visiting parent as an "Athithi" (Guest) and show kindness and empathy towards the guest who is none other than the parent of the child and respect him/her in front of the child.
The spouse shall treat other spouse, though not as wife/husband due personal indifferences, but atleast treat him/her as a guest by paying more attention than wife/husband since in our customs and practice, a guest is treated as "Athidi Devo Bhava (Guest is God)" and show kindness and empathy towards the guest who is none other than the parent of the child and respect him/her in front of the child.
Thus, the court directed the Respondent wife to not cause any inconvenience to the father when he was visiting the child and instead show hospitality by providing snacks and dinner, etc., to him and have the same along with her child which shall create a happy atmosphere for the child.
Case Title: Ganesh Kasinathan v. Richa Sharma
Case No: OP No. 633 of 2021